Choosing Art

New Studio

It’s been nearly three months since I moved into my new studio and it’s been a bit of a whirlwind. Almost as soon as I moved in, I was contacted by the manager of a gallery in Edinburgh to discuss taking part in a joint show in June. They wanted around 15 to 20 large paintings, more than I have ever produced in one series before. I was thrilled of course but also quite terrified. What if I couldn’t do it? It seemed like an enormous task and if I messed it up, I’d be ruining my painting career prospects before they had even begun.

The fear was very real but I realised that I would need a strategy of some sort to cope with the pressure. The one advantage with making art is that it has therapeutic results so I realised that as long as I set to work and started painting, I would remain relatively calm. The panicking happened in the “between painting” moments. And there has been a lot of panicking!

When things go well on a painting day, it’s the best feeling and gives me such a buzz but sometimes nothing seems to work and every brushstroke I make just makes the painting uglier and uglier. Those days are hard to deal with result in me coming home from the studio, agitated and distracted, impatient to get back to the studio to try and fix the mess I had made. There were quite a few days like that!

Where am I going with this? I suppose what I’m trying to say is, there are ups and downs. Good days and bad days. Just like anything else really. I think that in order to do anything meaningful to you, there are going to be challenges, it’s never going to be easy. But this is what I have been wanting to do for such a long time, making my art and having the opportunity to show it to people. I could hide away in my studio for years, just doing my thing and that would give me quite a lot of pleasure but there is a weird drive in me to get my art out in the world, to share it with others, to know that other people like it too. When someone loves a painting that you have made and love, it’s like you belong in the same club, they get it.

How can my art practice and lockdown homeschooling co-exist?

Scaling down my art projects along with my expectations…

I am writing this post in the quiet moments of this Saturday morning after our first week back in Lockdown homeschooling.

I wasn’t the finest example of Motherhood this week.

I started with such good intentions to enjoy our time together, to be supportive and nurturing, to make learning FUN!

That lasted for about fifteen minutes.

The problem, I soon realised, was that I had spent the Christmas holidays doing my yearly review and work plan for my art practice and I had failed to consider the practical implications of having my three children at home with me all day for the foreseeable future. I naively thought that after a quick check to make sure they were all on track with their learning for the day, I could enjoy some painting time in the studio. Of course, I expected to have interruptions at times but my rose tinted expectations imagined us all working productively alongside each other with ‘family time’ breaks and lunches where we could share our accomplishments of the day.

This was complete fantasy of course. I really should have known better. We had already been through the switch to homeschooling during the first Lockdown but I imagine my mind was playing tricks on me in the way it does after childbirth, when you can’t remember how bad it really was.

In reality, I quickly became this exhausted, nagging, bad tempered hag.

Being an artist and of a certain age, technology is not my strong point. Combine that with crummy old laptops and computers all trying to live stream at the same time on a slightly dodgy WIFI connection and let’s just say, things started unravelling rather quickly.

I also had not predicted that part of my job when homeschooling would be trying to make sure my two teenagers stayed awake during their lessons. I caught each of them, on separate occasions, having a snooze when they were supposed to be working.

Then there was the feeding - constantly. And cleaning up after the feeding. And not being able to do any simple task, even going to the loo, without hearing the inevitable call, “Muuuuuum!”

Needless to say, my planned studio time just wasn’t happening. I couldn’t do my usual practice of immersing myself into a painting session with my favourite music or podcast, there was too much to disturb the flow of concentration and I was feeling resentful for not having time for my art.

I realised eventually, at the end of the week (after a gin and a zoom chat with friends) that I needed a different approach. My original plan was clearly not going to work. How could I change things to make them better, for everyone? So this weekend I am re-writing my plan. My main art projects for this year will be modified or postponed and my focus will shift, temporarily, to small scale projects and experimentation. Re-setting limitations and expectations opens up a range of new possibilities. I can have more time to focus on sketchbooks (which I always neglect) and experimenting with different techniques and mediums. I can set up my studio paints and tools so that I can easily and quickly work in short bursts, dipping in and out whenever possible. Who knows what this new way of working might reveal. After a week of impatience and disappointment (at myself), I feel full of potential and excited about what might be achieved. Is that my rose tinted perspective creeping in again? Maybe. But we have to keep trying, right?

Free Art Giveaway *Ends Friday 6th Nov 2020*

I've been working a lot lately on updating my website and to celebrate the launch of it's new improved look, I am giving away an original abstract painting. One of these mixed media abstracts on paper is the prize - the winner gets to choose their favourite.

Discovery Quay

Interrupting the flow

Resisting nature

All you have to do to ENTER the GIVEAWAY is CLICK on this LINK and subscribe to my newsletter.

https://mailchi.mp/5fb03b1f4233/giveaway-november-2020

Alternatively, you can enter by emailing me at info@kerrysouterart.com.

The winner's name will be drawn at random on Saturday 7th November.

The winner can choose one of the three mixed media works on paper, as shown.

GOOD LUCK!

By entering this contest, you agree to a complete release of Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or any other social media platform to which this giveaway may be shared. You also consent to the use of content and information collected to be used solely for the purposes of this contest. No data collected will be passed on to Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or any other parties. This contest is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by or associated with Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest.